It’s unfortunate, I know. No one is proud of this fact. Well, ok, there are some dudes who boast their ass exhales as an exclamation point to their manhood, but for the rest of us without some lingering infancy poop disorder, farts can be embarrassing.

Especially when you do it and someone sneaks up without warning. Those moments are excruciating as you both adopt an acting role, pretending as if the smell doesn’t exist until the air eventually thins. You can only pray the episode gets forgotten.

But it doesn’t always.

Farts can brand an impression. Even accidental ones can permanently impair someone’s glossy image of you, rendering the relationship altered. And if it’s an SBD (silent but deadly), the damage can be irreversible. This is unfortunate, but real. No one is exempt and everyone learns to contend with this inconvenience to the best of their ability.

Now, fluffing in the comfort of your own space is not a problem. Some view it as being in touch with the inner self, literally. In fact, I’m pretty sure that Sigmund Freud asserted that the smelling of one’s own excrement is an animalistic reaction to gauging one’s health. So, you are not to be blamed for being aware of your windbreakers, but it should be agreed that the means in which you handle the vapors in the public sphere is worthy of consideration.

And thank goodness for the cover-up, as lighting a match or incense is a considerate way to show that even though you are admitting you’ve dropped an air biscuit, you have the class and maturity to bypass the awkwardness with pleasant scents.

By the way, smoking a pungent bowl works too.