Episode #187 – The Leaning Tower of Pizza
I don’t know if the guy who invented Italy’s most important contribution to the world was smoking a pepperoni sized doob when he changed the course of civilization by going robust on the crust, but that champion put the chow in ciao. I mean, there are only so many ways you can embellish a burger, but with a pizza, the mouthwatering combinations are exponentially endless.
Like, you could empty your takeout box of General Tsao’s chicken for a mound on the round, pop it in the oven to completion, and you’ve invented the Chinese Pizza.
I know. You’re a god damned innovator.
Artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes, pineapple and broccoli all in the same bite? A oh mio dio! That means oh my god in the language of pizzalian. You throw on some cured meat, eighteen different types of cheese—fuhgeddaboudit! Hell, you could throw a raw salamander on that fucker, and I’ll bet someone somewhere would eat it if it was baked in a wood fired oven.
Maybe Leonardo Da Vinci was in the wrong business. Because I’ll bet you an eight-year-old can’t tell you who he was, but they can sure tell you who Mario and Luigi are. Sure, they are potentially the most popular video game characters on the planet, but I’ll bet a thousand lira that they were named after guys with spaghetti sauce stains on their wife beaters who shout a lot.
Now, I understand they have a tilted tower in a city called Pisa. Which lends the name to what my buddies and I call the stack of leftover boxes the morning after a raging party. And if the boxes are somehow leaning, we consider that an omen from the almighty. So, we smoke a bowl to honor the inexplainable forces of the universe.
And then we search for leftover crust.