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Episode #254 – Remote No Control (Originally Posted as Episode #124)

We all know that there are some items in life that have an uncanny way of eluding your possession. In theory it shouldn’t happen, but no matter how much attention is directed toward keeping these elusive apparatuses secure, they somehow have a way of playing hide and seek. Like that extra sock that is secretly abducted by the clothes dryer, your sunglasses that want to live anywhere but on the bridge of your nose, and of course your remote control.

But why is it that in this world where there is no undiscovered corner thanks to sophisticated surveillance and electronic tracking, that one of the guiltiest culprits is that baffling device that is supposed to live within proximity of the television? It’s like Osama Bin Laden is holed up in a secret Afghani cave between the cushions of your couch and he keeps snatching your remote to watch his favorite Al Jazeera sitcom.

One of life’s great perplexities.

I mean, they can find the Titanic 400 miles away from land and 13,000 feet below the surface of the swirling ice waters of the North Atlantic Ocean, and they can return photographs from robotic space probes that have ventured to the end of the galaxy and beyond, but for some reason they can’t install a stoner button on my mandatory channel changer. Like, shouldn’t there be something on the television that sends a signal to the remote, which then beeps like a friendly R2D2 who is happy to hang out?

Young Inventors of The World, consider yourselves alerted!

So, here’s the good news. Sometimes when you search, a long-lost stray nug gets found.

And as far as solving the mystery of the lost sock, one can only deduce that it was eaten by the Sock Ness Monster.  

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